“Unpack the Box”
We all have packed boxes. We pack these boxes with things we don’t need every day, but don’t necessarily want to give up either. We throw all the stuff in that that we don’t want to look at every day, but in the back of our mind, we all seem to have that photographic memory of what’s tucked away inside LOL!
Most of my boxes are packed with memory keep sakes, and from time to time, generally around a move, I’ll pull them out and look through everything I’ve crammed in there. There is however, one particular box that until recently, I had never unpacked! For 34 years, I’ve repeatedly thrown all of what I’d consider my ‘most important junk’ in this box. It’s been a part of every move and until recently, I was fine with just pushing it aside, knowing it’s there but never dealing with it. Every time I added junk to the box I found myself thinking, “some day I’ll deal with all the crap in there, but not today!” Problem is, a box will soon overflow, break down, and fall apart. It can only hold so much till it can’t hold any more. That was the current condition in which I found this box when I heard God say, “Unpack your box.”
This “box” was actually a place I had created, deep within my heart and stored waaaaaayy back in the corner of my mind. It was a place I created to store pain. A place to store unforgiveness. It was a way of avoiding heartache… so I thought. It was a place where I had neatly organized all of my messy past and painful memories, starting with my parents divorce at the young age of 6. Somewhere I learned early on that it didn’t hurt as bad, if I pushed the memory and pain as far away from my every day thought process, as possible. So, from age 6 to 34, I’ve been throwing stuff i.e.: my parents divorce, abuse, broken promises and relationships, harsh words, the pain of losing of my children, and more; all in this box. It seemed so easy… so natural. “Just tuck every thing far away”.. so far that in essence, I’d never have to deal with it. It was a way of tricking myself into believing I was ok and that I wasn’t hurting from all that stuff anymore and it didn’t affect me. But, go with me here for a second–
Imagine walking around every day with an unbearably heavy, packed to the max, broken down, weak, MASSIVE box, every where you went. Every day you would be sore, completely and utterly worn out with the problem being, …that box went to bed with you too. At the end of the day, as you were trying stretch out your back and finally relax and rest your arms from an endlessly exhaustive day, as soon as you got comfortable and right about to fall asleep, WHAM! You roll over face to face with that same heavy BOX!. Day after day, night after night, the same thing. Eventually one or two things are either going to happen:
One – the box is going to break, which is going to make your life even more miserable because you can’t just get rid of the stuff! Now you have try and carry all of it around, dropping it every where which not only affects your life, but it affects the lives of others around you too.
Two – you break.
This is a picture of what I looked like, carrying around all that pain. I was exhausted. It deprived me of sleep and focus. It robbed me of joy, kept me bound from helping others, blinded me of the future and kept me distracted. I was functioning at barely 1% of my potential because 99% was taken up by pain. In reality, the idea of dealing with it later, worked in the exact opposite. I was dealing with it every day… and so were other people. People that I loved. My pain, was affecting my family & my friends.
When God said, “Unpack your box”, He was actually lovingly and so gently saying, “Bring me your pain.” He knew that I couldn’t keep hiding & stuffing it down. He knew that I was allowing my pain to cripple me, and I was about to break… but He had better plans for my future.
If you keep pain and hurt hidden away….it can’t be exposed to light. Jesus is the light of the world, the healer of all pain. Without being exposed to Jesus, the heartache can take root in your life, swiftly turn into to bitterness, and leave you with no hope of healing.
True healing begins when you recognize, confront and address, past heartache, disappointment, failure, & sin, bring it all under the cross, where it’s completely exposed and lovingly washed by His blood, never to be hidden or picked up again.
So, I started unpacking. It wasn’t easy and if I’m honest, I’m not sure it’s not completely unpacked yet. But, as I pull out these memories and as I look face to face with heart ache that I’ve carried around for way too long, the more I pull out, the lighter the box gets and the easier it is to navigate through it. I am removing the weight and giving it to God, where He stands with open arms, willing, ready and wanting, to lift this burden from me. Graciously, He first dealt with my doubt. After doubt and fear were removed, He equipped me with the ability to dig deep, knowing all the while, the He could and would, take away the contents of my box, and fully heal my heart.
And I am certain of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to the completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I encourage you to look deep within and see if there is anything that you’ve felt was too deep, too hard, and too much for God. I’m here to tell you that there is nothing too big for Him!! He is the Highest, the Greatest, Wisest, the Beginning and the End. With Him, everything can be made whole…. even your inner most, deepest heartache and disappointment. It takes a lot of courage to look deep within, but God won’t leave you hanging, left in the middle of a mess. He will provide a way out, and He will cultivate a heart that leans completely upon Him, in the process. Going deeper into His presence is about gaining more of Him and less of yourself. I encourage you, to unpack your box.